Ignorance is bliss?

Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. Every day brings new challenges which means new victories, and I am excited to see what today holds! I'm also looking forward to the day when my anxiety over writing is gone. Let's get to work on the overcoming process, shall we?

We've all heard the saying that ignorance is bliss, but is it really? Prior to October 14th, 2011, I was ignorant of the fact that there was a large tumor on the right side of my brain. I would normally consider this bliss, but I was also ignorant of how strong I am, how many people truly love and care for me, and how much my God loves me. I had the head-knowledge, but not the heart-knowledge, and there is a HUGE difference. Having John 3:16 memorized does not automatically mean you understand God's love for you, even though that is His greatest demonstration of love for His children.

On November 22, 2011 at 2:10am I finally GOT IT.  **side note: Being put on steroids post-surgery leaves one prone to episodes of 'awakeness' at dark-thirty on a regular basis. :)  Now, back to the love stuff...** I often took advantage of my inability to sleep by praying and reading my Bible. It was on this night that I began to pour out my love for my Savior. I was overwhelmed with all He had given me - grace, mercy, love, peace, provision, safety, and I just couldn't say it enough.

"Lord, I love you!" Over and over again.

His response to my cries of affection took me by surprise. I did not hear an audible voice, but He gently spoke to my heart saying, "No matter how much you love me, I will ALWAYS love you more." Whoa. What? "You cannot out-love me." 

All I could do was sob. I got it. I finally got it. God's love for ME cannot be surpassed or diminished. The more I seek Him, the more I love him, and the more He loves me in return. It's just so amazing!

Taking the first step seems to be the hardest.

I will write. I will ignore the chills and tremors that start as anxiety creeps in, because God's Word tells me, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." -Philippians 4:13 (NKJV)

This is my journey, and although I may not ever know its purpose, I do believe it has one. There is more to this brain tumor than just a cool scar and a new haircut. This is just the physical path that I am walking down for now, but it is the battle within that must be fought in order for me to be victorious in the end.

For future reference:
I plan to use this blog more as an online journal than anything else.
Comments are welcome.
Grammar police are not.  ;)